Updated: Jul 31, 2019
I have had eczema from a young age, it was something that I coped moderately well with up until the last 4 years of my life which incedentally were supposed to be my most formative years as a woman, my transition from being a teenager into becoming a young woman in the world we’ve all been living in where much of your self worth from your teenage years tie into your appearance (big shoutout to social media for that one). Sure you can say “don’t be superficial” and “love yourself” and all of that positive spew we’re supposed to repeat to ourselves in the mirror til’ we believe it but I can assure you that it becomes much more difficult if there is an insecurity that you can’t control or contain, much less an insecurity that causes physical pain, sleep deprivation and spiralling insecurity that springs from an unhappiness in your appearance and morphs into questioning your self worth, character and talents.
This has been my reality for the last 4 years, to explain in more medically correct terms and so anybody reading can google if they like to get a better visual of what I’m talking about I have a form of Nodular Prurigo (picture a fun blistering rash that causes pigmentation loss and widespread scarring) it’s on my arms, legs and everywhere in between it’s uncomfortable and it makes me feel disgusting but this is my reality and I am trying to learn to cope and exist with it. But as of lately I have wondered, who else is this effecting? who else out there is in a similar situation to myself? how are they coping? how do others rebuild their own esteem? I don’t even mean people with the exact same condition as myself I mean people who struggle to cope with acne, cysts, vitiligo, psoriasis or alopecia and any other condition that typically causes self-esteem blows?
Sure there are many articles and blogs dedicated to different ways to manage the physical issues associated with most of the aformentioned conditions and of course there is therapy and medication that can assist with living with these conditions but I just feel like that is not good enough alone. There are two crucial elements to feeling “normal” and “accepted as attractive in society” that are missing and I believe that is a combination of a lack of space for a connection between all of us going through these types of things and our sickening lack of representation in media.
There are tricklings of change here and there in the media with the body positivity movement but it is too fucking slow if you ask me. I need more influencers, models, clothing and beauty companies to open their eyes and look at the world around them and the people in it our biggest issues aren’t stretch marks and little imperfections that are hardly noticable it’s severe acne, its scaly skin, it’s scabs, it’s blisters and it’s bald patches and I am sick of trying to act pleased about seeing a couple of stretch marks now and then because truth be told I don’t even give a shit about my stretch marks it’s the other marks and scars cascading over my body everytime I look at myself that make me feel like some sort of outcast, that make me feel like I can’t wear a skirt without tights because people will question what the marks are on my body are because THEY HAVEN’T SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT EVER, which is crazy because I know there are more people out here with this than just me.
To summarise I want the world to represent people with massive insecurities properly and fucking include us because NEWS FUCKING FLASH we are out here existing and probably all a little insecure and alone and that has to change now.